A good one, this..

An elderly couple was watching TV when a TV evangelist came on air to pray for the sick.

The evangelist said.. "For those of you who are sick, I want to pray with you so that you can be cured of your sickness. Place your right hand on the part of your body that is suffering from disorder, and raise your left hand."

The husband placed his right hand on his privates, raised his left hand, and closed his eyes.

His wife saw what he did, and slowly whispered, "Honey, this prayer is to heal the sick, not to raise the dead!"

~ Malaysian Mirror
 

Remembering loved ones.. Pt 1: My mother

Some mothers are kissing mothers and some are scolding mothers, but it is love just the same and most mothers kiss and scold together ~ Pearl S. Buck.   


Fatimah bt Othman: 1929 - 15.6.2000/12 Rabiul Awal 1421)

My mother, Fatimah was known as Ne all her life. She was Abang Ne or Ab Ne to her siblings and close family members younger than her. She was Fatimah in her identity card and all official documents but never once did I hear anybody calling her Fati, Timah or Mah as is normally the case if your name is Fatimah. She was Ne to my father and to my elder sis, Idah and I, Mak Ne. To her grandchildren, she was Tok Ne. I think one or two elder brothers and daughters-in-law also called her Mak Ne.

Of Bugese descendant, from Sulawesi and somehow was related to some Daengs, I however have no recollection of my grandmother ever visiting her homeland. Wonder if the term Abang has something to do with that.

A Muarian, my mother got married when was 22 years old and that was in 1951. She bore 13 children for my father, almost one year after the other. There were breaks of course but I never get to learn why but mostly we were born close to each other. When was birth control introduced in Malaysia? I did a search on the internet and came up with naught. I also wondered if my father ever practised coitus interruptus.. (Lisa cannot imagine old people or parents having sex. I told her we are just old, NOT dead.)

Four children were born in successive years 1952 - 1955. A break and in 1957, another child was born. Years 1959 - 1964 saw her giving birth to six more children. A break again and finally the last two, 1966 and 1967. All the children were home births and I remember the midwife or bidan kampung (not government midwife) by the name of Mak Tipah (May Allah bless her soul as well.) However, my mother finally gave birth to my youngest sister at the General Hospital, Muar. I remember clearly the bananas, pisang embun, eggs and two slices of white bread that my father used to bring to my aunt's house after his hospital visits. My mother was 41 years old then.

I don't remember much of my mother in my earlier years as I was brought up by my paternal aunt. I can still remember my aunt grumbling about bringing me up when I was small but that it would be my parents that would later reap the benefits.. (I guess that is why I feel reluctant to adopt). Anyway, it was my aunt that I called emak or mak and my own mother Mak Ne.

We didn't live far off each other. If from my aunt's house going to my mother's, we said, Nak pegi baruh and from my mother's house back to my aunt's, Nak balik darat.

When my aunt died in late 1971, I went back to stay with my parents. My cousin, married and with child was also willing to have me live with her but somehow it was decided that I stay with my parents. My parents moved into my aunt's house as they were staying at my grandmother's house then. 

Thus began my life with my parents and siblings. My mother was a housewife and almost everyday went to the market. It was within walking distance. My mother was also not a talkative person and I don't recall having any meaningful mother-daughter conversations when I was young. I suppose it is common in many family environments, even now.

She cooked well and she could also sew baju kurungs for us. She rarely or never scolded us but when she was in her berleter moods, all us girls got it and then it was only when she was mad with my father. Only after I left home to work did I begin to have quiet conversations with her. I grew up believing that she didn't love me as much as she did my other sisters. I began working on bridging the communication gap and mending relationships between us. I didn't earn much when I first started work in KL but almost 50% of my pay would be sent to her monthly, likewise any bonuses that I received. There were quite a number of electrical items that I bought for her as well. Anything that I think she would like, I would buy for her.

I'd like to think that my mother loved all her children. No hugs, no kisses and very few scoldings. Loving 13 children of different moods and temperament must have been quite difficult for her. She had my father to contend with too.. However, what was most glaring to all of us was that she really loved my eldest brother and he could twist her round his little finger. Another really loved one was one of my elder sisters, and it broke my mother's heart when my sister married a 'married' man and by the simplest nikah witnessed by the Tok Kadi and my father.

After few years of staying at my aunt's house, my father had to sell the house as there was, my youngest uncle who was also entitled to the estate. We then moved back to stay with my maternal grandmother. Half of the proceeds of the sale went to extending my grandmother's house to fit us, my youngest aunt and family. My grandmother lived in the original part of the house. The house wasn't big but enough to house us comfortably. There were only two bedrooms side by side. My parents stayed in the second room. The first room was used by us, the children. I mean, us individually and not all of us too. I had a share of this room though. At most, two would share this room. I was using this room alone. Any children that happened to be the 1st to come home and had a spouse, would be entitled to this room so the current occupant would sleep outside. 

My mother was very accommodating I suppose. Come to think of it, I have never heard her grumbling. My children miss her so and they think of her as a very kind grandmother. She didn't have any expectations of us and was just happy to have any of her children coming home for visits, anytime of the day. 

I started to address her as mak after my son was born. It was awkward, not awkward bad but awkward embarrass. Prior to this, it was mak when I spoke of her to my siblings. She would eat almost anything that I cooked whenever I was home - then I was still working and working on cook shows too. I miss cooking for her..

My mother had asthma for as long as I can remember. We would just go the clinic that she frequented and asked for her wheezing and asthmatic tablets from the counter just by mentioning her name. My father would wake us up in the middle of the night and asked us to gently massage my mother's back until her breathing calmed. When her health started to weaken due to other ailments, (we didn't know until much later - she didn't complain and we focused too much on our father who had a heart problem so it was almost too late to help my mother) it was more of managing the pain. She had high blood pressure and kidney problems. When her stomach started to bloat, she had to be hospitalised to drain the water and it was painful to watch as she had to go through these treatments many times over the last few years of her life. But never at any time did anyone of us hear her moan or complain of pain. She was very quiet, as quiet as one can be.

My greatest regret in my mother's last two years of her life was failing to support her financially. I had quit work for a few years by then. Ja also quit because he was disheartened. Later he joined a friend and worked on their own. Any money they earned was spent to pay the staffs first, office rentals, utilities etc. He and his partner ended up not getting anything most months. So we didn't have any money to spend on my mother. (When my father had his surgery in 1998, money was still aplenty..) It was left to my other sister to take care of the financial side. 

By the time my mother was ill, my sister that married a married man has come back to stay with my parents. My brother-in-law died and she had to let go of her house. So she and her children came to stay with my parents. My adopted sister inherited the front room of the house, my sister the second room and my parents moved to a smaller third room (built when my father's cousin came to stay with them). Another sister decided to build a bigger room for my parents and they moved into it, complete with their own private door so as not to have to go through the whole house to get to the front door. The room also had another door connecting it to the main house.

Anyway, it was financially hard for my father. I had by then stopped supporting them monthly. My other siblings continued to support them but they had their own commitments to also take care of- children, loan and everything else. 

During the last few months of her life, she was bedridden. By then, my sister had placed a bed in a corner at the lounge at the front part of the house for her.  She ate very little. There was one time when she ate only rice, sambal belacan and fried egg. She didn't want to eat anything else. We would sit with her, gently massage and rub her legs, her hands and anywhere else to comfort her. My dad left it to the children to comfort her..

My mother first had her treatment at Batu Pahat General Hospital. She went through few treatments at this hospital. She was  also admitted to Muar General Hospital for low blood sugar and almost went into a coma. The other hospital that she was admitted to was Pantai Medical Centre, Melaka. There was a lot of hospital trips for her treatments but she tolerated it all. A week before she died, she asked to be sent to the hospital. I remember visiting her. She wanted to move her bowels and I pushed her wheel chair to the cubicle and the nurse wanted a specimen. It was difficult for her and it was difficult for me. I am not much of a help when it comes to smells. I became nauseous. She laughed because she knew me so well..

The night she died, I was not by her side. I was at home in Petaling Jaya and earlier Anoy, my younger sister had called and asked me to recite Yassin for my mother. I did and whilst reciting it after Maghrib prayer, I received a call from her to say that my mother had just passed away. 

We drove back to Muar that night. I drove for the first time, long distance and at night. Ja somehow had a massive headache and it was midnight. We bundled Eman, Lisa and also Snowball (my mother knew this cat and I had brought her home few times prior to this) into the car and I just drove. The connecting road from the Tangkak toll house to the nearest town was newly resurfaced then and there was no white lines painted yet. It was driving in total darkness except for the car headlights. I thank Allah for the strength and courage that He bestowed on me that night.

My sisters and I took part in giving her the last bath and putting on the kain kapan. I remember my father feeling so lost.. and me holding his hand when her coffin was lowered into the ground. And I remember my mother loving my father so, warts and all.

Ya Allah, ampuni segala dosa-dosa ibuku, besar dan kecil dan tempatkanlah rohnya bersama roh orang-orang yang beriman, di sisiMu.

Why Malay husbands are called Abang..

I came across an article on this title whilst reading Malaysian Insider. It is an article by Zaidel Baharuddin. Interesting read, this.

I remember clearly having to call someone abang when I was 9 years old. It was the morning after the wedding of my cousin, Kana (real name Saadiah Mohamad) to Abu Bakar b Sidek (may Allah bless his soul). I had to call him down for breakfast. Malu sesangat. My elder brothers are just Long and Ngah to me. And my third elder brother is just Enal. Even my elder sisters didn't carry the word kakak before their names. So to have to address this new cousin-in-law as abang was like such a big thing for me then. That was also the year another cousin got married. Well, boys or men were not immediately in my line of vision then..

My two older sisters got married when I was 19. Boys were already in the picture - penfriends, boys that came to our school to promote events at school (wonder if such thing still happens today, I mean students from other schools that come to promote their school events) and later the form six years at High School. So by the time my sisters got married, it was easier to call my brothers-in-law,  abang. One, was much much older abang and the other one a younger abang but abang nevertheless.

My own husband? He is not abang or abaaang to me. Just Ja, or yang of the word sayang. It was never yaaang either...

Death of an uncle..

You came from God and to Him you have returned.

Al Fatihah.

Uncle Md Said, aunty Miah's husband passed away sometime in the afternoon at Subang Jaya Medical Centre today. The Solat Jenazah was held at the Kelana Jaya Mosque and body laid to rest at a cemetry in Subang Jaya.

Married to Ja's eldest aunt on his father's side, he died at the age of 82 and is survived by his wife, Hajah Salmiah bt Kuntom and three sons, two daughters, two sons-in-law, three daughters-in-law and thirteen grandchildren.

Moga rohnya Allah tempatkan bersama roh-roh orang yang beriman.

What is love..

  

“How on earth are you ever going to explain in terms of chemistry and physics so important a biological phenomenon as first love” ~ Albert Einstein

Helen Fisher, a leading expert in the topic of love, divides the experience of love into three partly overlapping stages: lust, attraction, and attachment. 

• Lust exposes people to others 
• romantic attraction encourages people to focus their energy on mating; and 
• attachment involves tolerating the spouse (or indeed the child) long enough to rear a child into infancy.

Lust is the initial passionate sexual desire that promotes mating, and involves the increased release of chemicals such as testosterone and estrogen. These effects rarely last more than a few weeks or months. 

Attraction is the more individualized and romantic desire for a specific candidate for mating, which develops out of lust as commitment to an individual mate forms. 

As people fall in love, the brain consistently releases a certain set of chemicals, including pheromones, dopamine, norepinephrine and serotonin, which act in a manner similar to amphetamines, stimulating the brain's pleasure centre and leading to side effects such as increased heart rate, loss of appetite and sleep, and an intense feeling of excitement. 

Since the lust and attraction stages are both considered temporary, a third stage is needed to account for long-term relationships. 

Attachment is the bonding that promotes relationships lasting for many years and even decades. Attachment is generally based on commitments such as marriage and children, or on mutual friendship based on things like shared interests. It has been linked to higher levels of the chemicals oxytocin and vasopressin to a greater degree than short-term relationships have.

~ Wikipedia

First bite, then hooked..

Pleasure is the flower that passes; remembrance, the lasting perfume ~ Jean de Boufflers.
  
It was in the year 1988 that I fell in love with cross-stitching. And I must give credit to my younger sister, Lat for introducing me to this wonderful world. When I saw her work, which was also of this picture, I scouted high and low for the cross-stitch book that had this particular picture. I found in a bookstore at Lucky Garden, Bangsar. The shop is still there, I think. (Have not been anywhere near Lucky Garden for ages.. There was this Malay restaurant that served a delicious variety of dishes, and I mean really many many and the price was reasonable, sayang, tutup already) I digress.. 

I suppose if it is something that you like doing, it becomes a pleasure.. So, within weeks I completed it and immediately started another one. And during my confinement period, I had Ja looking for some new patterns for me to do. I completed two more and there was no stopping me..

These two earliest projects adorn our bedroom now. Earlier in their lives, they hung proudly on the wall in our lounge.  

I also completed several other pictures as gifts: of bears to my husband's niece, Hannah when she turned two. (Wonder if her mum still keeps it. Hannah turned 16 last November.)  Then of rabbits to Bahiyah, my sister-in-law, of dusk scenery to my parents-in-law, of birds to Lisa's standard three teacher, of bees (Chinese artwork) to my youngest sister, Norliah, of a boy and a girl painting (this one the biggest) to Kak Radzi for her childcare centre, Seri Manja.

Above picture is at our dining area. It has gone through three processes of frame change. Initially it had a black frame, then I changed it to green. Finally this year, sometime in July I thought it deserved an upgrade - new mounting boards and wooden frame. And it set me back a few hundred ringgit too..

Left, my latest project, taken up after a hiatus of several years. I started in July and completed it in September. I have yet to send it to my favorite frame shop..

Below are some other projects that I completed over the years:

Above pix was stitched with EA on mind - to complement his room, then painted blue when he was younger. His room is lime green now and this picture now hangs at the common wall upstairs. 

below, @ Lisa and Ja's jamming corner, a glacier scenery.

Whilst for the picture below, I have Susu to thank for. She bought me the whole kit for my birthday. For a few years, it adorned Ja's office. He has since moved office and I thought it was time for this picture to come home.

 Came home it did, in September, and is now hanging nice and pretty in our kitchen (hey! what is Patty doing up there?)

 Facts about cross stitch:

• an oldest form of embroidery.

• the earliest known cross stitch sampler is housed at Pilgrim House, Plymouth, Massachusetts. 

• it was created by Loara Standish, daughter of Captain Myles Standish, circa 1653.

• it can be quite an expensive hobby.. one DMC thread that cost a mere 0.55 sen in 1988 is now RM1.50. 

• a pattern uses 30 or more colors. 

• aida cloth is like RM45 per metre and that's the cheapest. 

• there is also the framing cost to consider.. 

How true..

When you're young your mother shields you from the world because she thinks you're too young to understand and when she's old you shield her because you think she's too old to understand - or to have any more understanding inflicted on her.

I grew up not having to listen to my parents berate me for any wrong doings or doing things my way. As a matter or fact none of my siblings either. If at all my mum got into one of her moods, all of us kena in general. For the first eleven years of my life, I stayed with my paternal aunt. When she died, I came back to stay with my parents.

No, there was no heart to heart talk from parent to child and there was no bedtime story telling either.  So when I got married and have children of my own, it was literally learning from scratch. It was thanks to Dr. Miriam Stoppard and many other books and magazines on children and parental guidance. 

Eman was sent to Seri Bangsar when he was eight months old as I was still working then and none of the maids stayed long enough and I didn't like the adjusting period that he had to go through with each new maid. And when Lisa was born, it was childcare straight away for her only by then both of them were sent to another childcare centre. There was nothing wrong with Seri Bangsar, only that they didn't have any mengaji or doa recitals.

I quit my job when it was time for Eman to start schooling. School started in December then and I was not keen to hire a maid, so after discussing the pros and cons with Ja, I submitted my resignation. 

Bedtime was spent chatting or reading and encouraging them to recite the syahadah. I had my first heart to heart talk with Eman over his name when he was seven years old. He was very upset that we didn't name him Muhammad Eman Azrin as many of his friends seem to have the Muhammad as their first names. I had to explain that his name is pronounced as "Iman" which is an Islamic term for religious belief. Whilst I agree that Muhammad is the name of our prophet (p.b.u.h), I told him that Iman is what we are all about. There are also many people with the name Muhammad that didn't turn out well in life. Our prophet is an exceptional person. 

Some people call him Ehman and some do call him Iman. He is mostly EA to me. He turned 21 last August and Lisa 18 in February. Lisa's complaints are mostly over people substituting the "s" in her name with "z" and call her Nur Liza. I can't help her there.

Being a parent who had experienced a broken heart once in her life, I shudder to think that my children will experience it. Both of them kept clear of any relationships whilst they were in the secondary school. But when EA went to KDU, he had a thing with Mel. Of different religion and race. I have told the children my views on mixed marriages and stuff, the responsibilities and all but I have no objection to either of them having a relationship with people of other races. I am not an original Malay anyway. My dad was of some Javanese descendant from Makassar and my mum of Bugese, Sulawesi. Ja is also of mixed blood. 

I have also openly declared that it does not matter where either one of them choose to stay eventually. Here in Malaysia or anywhere else for that matter. Your religious belief is in your heart and you can be a practising Muslim anywhere on earth.  

So anyway, despite them being together a few months and seemed to be able to complete each other's sentences and all, it did not work out. I remember telling him that a heart gets broken so that it can grow stronger and as a person, he will be wiser. Imagine then, it was almost time for him to continue his further studies in Perth. Both Ja and I were a bit concerned. Of the two of them, EA is more sensitive. He is not embarrased to cry, he is I am afraid, as temperamental as me. (How I wish both my children inherit Ja's disposition - not temperamental and less emotional..)  He is over her but somehow does not seem to be able to accept her as a friend. He is now back for two months on year end break. And now that he is older, I am pretty certain that he does not tell me as much as he used to.

Lisa, on the other hand is so worried about getting her heart broken that she treads so carefully going about her life. She asked me once, "How do you know if he's the one". "Do you go through or have many relationships before getting the right one?"  I have no answer to these questions. (I broke two hearts, had one broken engagement, fell in love for the first time and had my heart broken, it was so bad that I thought I could see the lump of pain in my heart.. I have made peace with the two guys that I hurt, one married my best friend and came to tell me about it whilst I was at work and the other is also married but somehow ended up being my youngest sister's brother-in-law, such small world.. and my ex-fiance, whilst I had met him, returned the money he loaned me when I came to work in KL, I have no idea how he is now.) My husband, Ja.. now he is Allah's gift to me. Alhamdulillah..

And Lisa, she has broken a heart.. she was 17 then, first year in college. Instant attraction but she didn't feel the same way about him. I wonder if Lisa is more in love with love. She likes the idea of love but I did tell her that a relationship needs work. I suppose she is not ready yet. So she is cautious, very very cautious.

I wish I could prevent any hurt from befalling my children. I'd like to think that both Ja and I have prepared them for this world, emotionally, mentally and spiritually. As they go about their lives, studying and having outings with friends of various races, I pray that God will look after them, guide them and give them strength. 

I am Black

 

What we do flows from who we are ~ Paul Vitale. 

A serious and thoughtful person, I spend a lot of time in quiet reflection. I am a friend of honesty and don't sugar coat anything. 
I prefer truth in all its complexity. I may relate to the color black but it doesn't necessarily mean I am a dark person. I do not hide from the dark side of life. Sophisicated and classic, I do not follow trends and have own style of doing things. 

Right...

A family night out

 

We are a little weird and life's a little weird. When we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love ~ Author Unknown. 

Pop and mom celebrated their 56th Wedding Anniversary on 3.12.2009. Immediate family members got together for dinner at TonyRoma, Cineleisure. Now, what can I say about this night? The place was noisy so my own conversation was kept to the minimum. Food was good (not so sure to rate it as delicious tho) but oh boy, you need to be really really hungry to dine here..

Do not have a lot of photos to show for the night, lighting not so conducive but I like the picture shown here. It is of my sisters-in-law Bahiyah, Farah and Badi. On the wheel chair is Farah's mum. Always call her aunty. Must get her name from Farah..

Hey, I did it!

I did it. Finally! Bought my tablet early this year and toyed around with it every now and then. I finally sat down yesterday and really listened to the video tutorial. Did not follow the instructions to the latter but after procrastinating for months and months... 

And it is thanks to EA for helping to fix a little problem I had when I started this project (he took my tablet to Perth sometime in June and I needed time to become reacquainted with it) and Ja for advising me on what format I should save this picture. I used Corel Painting app (ha.. ha.. Lisa does her stuff on illustrator). I must remember to save my stuff on a format that can create alpha channel. (too much information, my brain cannot compute, huh!) 

And that's how the fight started..

Courtesy of Malaysian Mirror:



Conversation of a married couple watching "Who wants to be a millionaire" whilst in bed. 


Husband : Are you in the mood?
Wife : No.
Husband : You are sure?
Wife : Yes
Husband : Is that your final answer?
Wife : YES
Husband : Then I'd like to phone a friend.

Joy..

Sublime happiness, fleeting moments of perfection you get once or twice in a lifetime.. Alhamdulillah.

Flowers from EA..

 

A bit of fragrance always clings to the hand that gives rose ~Chinese Proverb

Family get togethers

Yesterday we celebrated Eid Adha. Ja and EA went to Sec 14 mosque for their prayer. Then we had a simple breakfast of just nasi himpit, chicken and sayur jawa. Lisa and I went to TTDI market to get tempeh. Of course no longer available, it being the raya morning itself. However a friendly lady at a shop told us that there was also no tempeh on Thursday.. So, our sayur jawa was cooked minus that. It still turned out delicious, actually it smelt better too.

Kak Long, Azura and husband, Shah arrived at 5.00p.m. Abang Maulut could not make it, him being the surau ajk and waiting for the arrival of cows for Qurban session today. Then Hisham, wife Su and children, Helena Sophia and Hakim arrived. We served them Mi Bandung followed by Sagu and gula melaka for dessert. They left after the maghrib prayer. It was a good family get together albeit a small one at that.

I am never one for big gatherings. Small ones are cozier and easier to manage. It helps us to bond better. I like the fact that all of us can be involved in the same conversation and without having to jump from one table to another..

So today being Saturday, went back to bed after my Subuh prayer and finally got up again at 10.30a.m. Had brunch with Ja at our side patio then we played scrabble. Am having a break, Ja pi fetch Lisa and now am just waiting for them to do their Zohor prayer sebab Lisa nak main sekali...

64 ways to say "I love you.."

This is a copy and paste article - psychology.suite101.com.

A little relationship advice can go a long way, and so can a list of relationship tips. Specific, practical ways of showing your love for your partner, kids, and friends can increase the communication, connection, and caring in your family. Knowing how to say I love you consistently and sincerely will give you and your lover a natural high!

1. Don't compare them to anyone.
2. Be courteous at all times.
3. Embrace the present moments without fear or guilt.
4. Live by the Golden Rule (Do unto others as you would have them do unto you).
5. Give your full attention when talking.
6. Become their biggest fan and cheerleader!
7. Toast each other over breakfast or dinner to say I love you.
8. Tell them how they bring love to your life.
9. Laugh about kids quotes on love or events.
10. Talk about your day during mealtimes.
11. Read books aloud together.
12. Say you're sorry.
13. Recall good and bad memories.
14. Let go of the past to say I love you.
15. Do nothing together.
16. Encourage health in all its forms.
17. Trust your partner enough to cry together.
18. Act silly together.
19. Be lavish in praise.
20. Ask questions about opinions, feelings, thoughts.
21. To say I love you, forget about labels.
22. Encourage adventures and risks!
23. Show your joy when they come home.
24. Bake cookies.
25. Leave stress at work to say I love you.
26. Use flannel sheets in the winter.
27. Solve problems together - such as crosswords or Suduku.
28. Show your gratitude for them.
29. Be a good sounding board.
30. To say I love you, take pride in them -- and show it.
31. Compliment them in front of others.
32. Spend time with them.
33. Listen.
34. Ask for hugs and kisses.
35. Take vacations together.
36. Tell the truth to say I love you.
37. Use pet names to say I love you.
38. Practice self-acceptance.
39. Hunt for treasure together.
40. Be interested in their interests.
41. To say I love you, let go of jealousy.
42. Accept their weaknesses and flaws.
43. Ditch work or responsibilities to play with them.
44. Be yourself.
45. Share chocolates, ice cream sundaes, milkshakes.
46. To say I love you, ignore slights.
47. Pray or meditate together.
48. Practice forgiveness.
49. Watch classic movies together.
50. Leave notes or send letters.
51. To say I love you, buy a "for no reason at all" gift.
52. Don't gossip or judge.
53. Give the benefit of the doubt to say I love you.
54. Give space when they're in a bad or sad mood.
55. Learn something new together.
56. Go dancing.
57. Keep your promises to say I love you.
58. Make them laugh.
59. Consider their feelings.
60. Learn ways to rekindle the romance.
61. Hide a treat in their lunch.
62. To say I love you, make home a fun place to be.
63. Let them make their own decisions.
64. Say what you mean when you say I love you. Say why.

Saying I love you takes work and making your relationship stronger does take work. It's hard to be honest, and it's hard to accept the consequences of your honesty and authenticity. It takes time, energy, and commitment to stay connected through all the problems that life and people bring. It can be painful, aggravating, and scary to stick it out through all the ups and downs....but the alternative is worse.

Off the cuff..

Opened my eyes at 5.30a.m this morning. Earlier in fact. Just that it was the routine "to get up or not to get up". Of course I didn't, hence I missed my Tahajjud. Then at 5.30, I thought I could still make it. Day before while checking out the prayer times for the remainder of this month, I noticed that maghrib is now at 7.01p.m and slowly after this will become later and later. So okay, took it for granted that I could make it only to realise it later that I could not. I was brushing my teeth when I heard our azan alarm to indicate the prayer time for Subuh..

Anyway, after subuh prayer I didn't go back to bed. Did my morning stretching exercises and at 7.00a.m sent Ja to the LRT station to catch the ERL to KLiA for his trip to Perth. Should be arriving in Perth about 3.00p.m. Check in at his hotel then wait for our son, EA.

Was supposed to go to the gym with Lisa at 8.00 a.m but I have this running nose to contend with. I wouldn't want to contaminate the gym what with the H1N1 still looming in the horizon. So I decided to just stay home, write this blog and after this perhaps finish off trimming the dining chair covers that I managed to finish sewing yesterday.

Also saw Sam at my neighbour's house. She looked at me as I drove past but she hasn't been back home for quite a while now. I only get to see her every now and then but am grateful that her new owner seems to love and care for her very well. Only that she doesn't get to sleep in the house. She is in my prayers daily..

Now at 10.30a.m, I just got back after fetching Lisa from gym and dropping her off at her college. Snowball is sleeping on the kitchen cabinet, Patty in my room and Grubs in the guest room. One day, I will write about all the cats that we have at home...

What else.. oh yes, Lisa has a lunch outing with Azlan (she calls him Alan). He plans to cook, though no confirmation just yet where he 'll do the cooking.

Husna from Sec 14 mosque just called to find out if Ja and I would like to help in the Qurban event this year to be held this Saturday. We were there last year. This year though? Will wait for Ja to arrive back with EA from Perth this thursday before deciding..

Two Sundays..

i. Cuci, the musical.

Ja, Lisa & I went to Istana Budaya to watch the last show of Cuci the musical at 3.00p.m. It was hilarious and we enjoyed ourselves tremendously. We have never laughed so much watching a musical prior to this. A special mention of Awie and Adibah Noor for being simply adorable and cute, Hans for oh his so macho voice. I have never liked to watch AC on TV but for this musical, I found him bearable to watch. He was funny but I suppose I can only take a small dosage of him.

We left the theatre at 7.00p.m and Ja decided to take the Taman Tasik Titiwangsa route and the traffic jam really spoilt all of our good feelings. Maybe there's some truth in the old saying that we shouldn't laugh too much, something bad's bound to happen...

ii. Last Sunday, we went to 1 Utama and entered through the old wing using our One Card. After having late lunch and looking around and buying things we decided it was time to head for home. It was not meant to be an easy exit, the machine couldn't read the card. So we re-parked the car and Ja walked all the way to the new wing to the One Card service counter. The card seemed to be in working order but the machines at the old wing apparently are known to not recognize One Cards every now and then. We were advised to drive to the new wing via the two carpark links either at the roof top or basement and exit through the new wing. Both the rooftop and basement links were closed. Fly fm had a concert going on at the new wing so we kind of expected the carparks to be full.

We also discovered that the One Card that Ja used to enter I U was mine and the one that I thought was mine and in my purse was invalid. His One Card was missing. Anyway, we finally left after an hour in the parking lot, with a lot of thanks to the carpark security.

iii. Today, Friday- Ja went to the One Card service counter to check my One Card again and to find out what happened to his own card. Their machine detected transactions by my One Card and also his on the same day, mine through the old wing and Ja's the new wing. We couldn't have entered both wings within minutes without exiting first. Their deduction: Ja must have dropped his card somewhere and somebody picked it up and shamelessly used it instead of handing it over to the service counter. So they issued him a new card and will share the credit with his old card.. (to transfer, Ja needs to hand over the old card)

iv. Left house to fetch Lisa at the Gym around 12-ish. Just as I was reversing my car out to the main road, a lorry stopped opposite my house. Three men came out and  and as I drove off, crossed the road and walked to my tree which is just outside the fence. Feeling uneasy, I stopped the car and saw them painting the TNB pole near the tree. Called Suki and Bibik and sought their help to observe the workers.

On the way back, I checked out the other TNB poles along my road and noticed none was repainted. Curiously enough, I was told they left after painting the pole at my house. Later after sending Lisa to college, I drove to the other roads in my neighbourhood and detected another 'solo' pole painted silver and only on SS 2/43 road. I hope it was just that, they were marking poles to indicate future work to be done and not like the Ali Baba and the 40 thieves where they marked the outhouse as the house to be broken into, and in my case, mark the TNB pole.

Our house was broken into on the 4th day of Eid Fitri 2008. Lisa and I were at home and no, we don't want to have to go through that again.. May God protect us, Amen.

My Sam

This is Sam, my busyuk pot. I found her on a staircase at Sec 14 market on 4.9.2005. She was about few weeks old then and was sleeping nicely on the staircase. I was from the wet market heading to the dry section on the 1st floor when I spotted her. Her sight melted my heart. I borrowed a basket from a trader, put her in it and walked back to my car and said to my husband, "Don't kill me. I like her."

It took her a while to adjust to eating proper cat food and drinking milk. My older cat, Snowball hated her on sight! She took every opportunity to pounce on Sam and every now and then managed to actually hurt her.

I then put Sam in my bedroom and her nights were spent snuggled in between our pillows. She virtually grew up in my bedroom. She ate her food in our guest bedroom. The downside of having her in our room was her treating my bed as her toilet. We had to put plastic sheet over my bed just to protect my mattress!

Funny that none of my two children ever messed up my bed but my cat did. This is all history. Sam has left home and is now happily settled at my neighbour's house. They seem to love her and she is so cuddly and white. And there is no Snowball to terrorise her anymore. Patty used to play with Sam but not so much now.

Spotted her at 6.40pm today after I came back home from fetching Lisa. Called her and she came nearer but not near enough for me to touch her. In the days when she used to go out in the morning and come back home at night, we sometimes had to fetch her. It was so adorable to see her running home alongside us.

I miss her so. Wonder what she is called now...

Walking down memory lane..

   Ja, and I.

We were in Kuantan for one of the then Sure Heboh, TV3 carnival. 

My 1st ever tagging along with him. 

Picture was taken by my daughter, Lisa before we left for home, 

Petaling Jaya. 

We arrived on Saturday afternoon and headed straight to the site 

where the carnival was held. 

Didn't stay long, it was hot and it was crowded but it was an interesting 
experience that I will treasure. 

Glad to say that his days of going away on weekends 

to oversee the carnival is over and 

that this carnival is now known as JOM HEBOH.